My Dress :crosses fingers:

So tentatively, crossing fingers and toes this is the dress. I never thought I’d be the person to be so attached to a garment, but eek, I am. I love that it’s modern, but could still be my grandmother’s dress. It’s intricate yet simple, and it’s not a big poofy extravagence. We somewhat settled on our theme of staying casual and comfortable and being from the midwest. It’s a shabby sheek, or whatever you want to call it, I can’t even begin to categorize. It’s our wedding. It entirely represents who we are, and our love and what we feel is beautiful. I feel like more than anything, this process is becoming us saying who we are and what we value. I adore this dress because it doesn’t define me, but it makes me feel like me. I thought my dad was going to cry when he saw it. He continues to surprise me. Growing up, our relationship always felt formal. He was my father. The father that went on business trips and brought his laptop to my choir concerts. The first time I consciously remember him getting emotional or hugging me was when they dropped me off at Missouri State for my freshman year. I was prepared for my mother to cry, and as she eagerly scurried toward the door, my dad lingered and gave me a long hug and in a broken voice told me how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. Since then we’ve had a relationship of friends, best friends, and I think aside from Neil and my relationship, my relationship with him has been strengthened and enjoyed throughout this process…unlike my love for the Catholic Church.

I say that in jest, but the issue of church has complicated some. The church we have chosen to get married in is small, and therefore only does confirmation every OTHER year…this spring session having just ended. We are looking into sessions at Newman (where mom and dad go) and Lourdes (the Mega Catholic temple) and are hopefully getting set up there for classes this summer/fall. Sounds fairly simple right?

Of course it’s not.

Catholic churches, unlike other denominations apparently, require registering. You have to register and be a member to really participate on the level we need to in order to get confirmed (saying “I’m Catholic) and get married. Since we now have to seek another church in order to get confirmed, we technically will have to be registered and ‘active’ (the other requirement for both marriage and confirmation) at two churches. Yikes. Grad School, a busy summer of wedding planning, and now Church….x2. In addition, one of the churches gave us an impression that we would have to go through remedial “pre-confirmation” sessions because we aren’t active or ‘catechized’ now. Sigh. I’m going into this with optimism and an open mind. I can’t change it, so I’m looking at what is to be gained from this. More and more as events unfold in my own life and in the lives of those around me (and hopefully far away) I feel that…things work themselves out, and (to sound horrible) happen for a reason. New friendships, faded friendships, job changes, school choices, everything happens amazingly in great timing for us. I’m trying to go into this with the attitude of…maybe I’m being called to this for a reason. Maybe I’m supposed to meet someone or a group of people, maybe I’m going to be strengthened by something I learn that will serve with something I have to endure. My grandparents are still ill and growing weaker, and we had another family emergency this week, maybe the timing is here for a reason.

I’ve been feeling strong lately and inspired to get out there and find new reasons to be optimistic and renewed in things that have felt like a defeating or weakening force, mainly people, events, organizational groups, clubs, etc. I’m looking at joining GPC, another group within the church, and volunteering politically again…although I’m not sure that devout vigor and ambition will ever return full fledge.

We’ve also got a Sushi party in the works, we feel as if it’s been forever since we’ve made our own, and we’re just trying to find an opening weekend. May is booked, we are out of town EVERY WEEKEND essentially, so it looks like it will be June before it happens. Crazy, but still deliciously impossible to wait for.

Have a great day!