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God still loves your batshit crazy self…I think.

By October 2, 2009Misc., Rant, Uncategorized

“You would think that if you were so anti-gay that you would make an effort not to look like a diesel driving dyke.” -My husband.

You know, after looking for about 20 minutes to find the “right” picture to represent this woman and her brood, and being in an overall poopy mood today, the fact that they are returning to Columbia doesn’t bother me all that much because as you see, they are irreversibly irrelevant. I mean, what the fuck are they trying to say anyway? Rule 2 to protesting is “unification of your message” …which is right after “Don’t be a fucking batshit-crazy loon.” Fail. Once again, Westboro Baptist Church (I didn’t link because no one deserves the punishment that will come from a curious click) are returning to Columbia to protest. What you may ask? Well, they are really protesting everything that isn’t brightly colored and belligerent. They plan on starting at Hickman High School before marching parade-style to Stephens College to protest the theater production of  “Laramie Project,” which is about Matthew Shepard, a gay college student murdered for his sexual orientation in Wyoming. Next they will wander down past my building to the Jewish Student Hillel House before somehow getting to the south of town to being annoying in front of the Jewish Temple. Somehow the mosque was spared this year, although I suspect they are too chickenshit to test out their parade permit through there. Ironically in the past hour the sky has gone from beautiful fall blue, to ominous thunderstorm grey, as if it knows…hmm.


I’ve had the displeasure of being acquainted with The Phelps family numerous times. Most memorably in 2004, when I was a young, agnsty twenty-something who thought I could bend the world to my peaceful pansy liberalism. Southwest Missouri State University, (now Missouri State University) was in the process of instituting a highly controversial “sexual orientation” clause to the non-discrimination policy after fighting several years against a retiring Jim Crow-esque University President. It was eye opening. Having grown up in pretty monotheistic Minnesota, the conservative evangelical environment of the bible-belt left me feeling kidnapped in my own country. I was tricked into salvation interventions more than once, and my car was keyed because of a liberal bumper sticker. In any sense, Westboro Baptist Church was still the pinnacle event.

In my mind (and I’m trying my best to be pleasantly diplomatic) they are weak hypocrites, and I don’t mean that in a tit-for-tat rebuttal sort of way. I feel that if you have to stand behind God to justify the judgement(s) you feel and have toward others, then you are a coward and without enough clout, nor class, to make your argument stick otherwise. And lets face it, you aren’t off to a good start when you have to put your kids in cheap Wal-Mart t-shirts with your website and make them hold signs they don’t undestand in a lifestyle they can’t and probably wouldn’t choose for themselves. What, you couldn’t dredge up enough carryover support from the other consenting bat-shit crazy “adults” protesting healthcare reform?

All in all, I think the thing that always keeps us positive and moving forward is that for every bad presence, bad moment, or bad day, there has been and will be hundreds more better, good days and wonderful people working toward opposite energy in the universe. Like Brooklyn of all places.

Enjoy your weekend, and do something beautiful and meaningful.